Family vs Mouse
Family vs Mouse…
The Ratters:
Luna, Dachshund, age 8
Likes sleeping in a heated blanket
Resents racial profiling
Identifies as a dobermann with dwarfism
Harley, Pug x Mini Schauzer, age 7 months
Likes hiding dirty underwear and mums incontinence pants
Mental acuity: examines butt when farting
Closest genetic relative: Animal from the Muppets
The Enemy
A young looking gray/brown mouse, obviously familiar with surroundings.
The Event
As described last night by text to my sister.
A baby mouse just strolled past the fireplace in front of SO while I was asleep, on my afternoon nap. Good job I have two malevolent doggy ratters you say. SO had to pick them up to get their attention. Luna was disgusted, jumped straight back under my blanket and has shown him her bottom since. She says daddy that mouse has an excellent sense of smell and can find its own way to the water and biscuits, also disturbing Mummy Nap is potentially a form of abuse. Stop turning all the lights on and waking us up early. Luna has licked Mummy back to sleep and tucked her back in. Harley has run round in circles looking confused then passed back out on the floor. The mouse is sat watching events from under the electric fire.
SO is now buying a humane trap, probably for the mouse.
Harley cannot help her learning difficulties.
Luna wants to stop being racially profiled as a vicious mouser.
This mouse clearly needs a home and they have spare resources.
Harley is now eating my underwear from my shower instead of helping SO with the mouse…
She’s hidden a burger toy in my crotch, I’m not sure if there’s a hidden message?
An Hour Later
After an hour of direct battle, the score is presently Mouse 1 - Family 0. The Mouse has successfully made it all the way through the downstairs, into the motor of the fridge, and then when we tried to poke it out of there with sticks, it gravitated successfully under the cupboards in the kitchen, taunting four human family members and two dogs along the way. So proving that predators and omnivores are not supreme world leaders.
Ten Minutes Later
Dogs went out to pee, Mouse strolled back through the whole of downstairs and back out through the living room and outside through a hole in the frame of the patio window. Mouse 2 - Family 0.
SO has blocked the hole with tissue temporarily, because the Mouse will not see that as free bedding in any way. I will name it Stuart Little and prepare it a little red wind up car and a matchbox bed ready for tomorrow.
We literally run a mouse hotel now with free human and canine liaison training.
If it comes back with a gang it is a suggested political party candidate for prime minister.
